27 February
Time is whizzing by and I’m pleased at how things are going. Much, much less tired now but somehow I’m not achieving much – the house is messy and I haven’t done any studying. I have been riding three times though which was great, even if it was a bit of a mistake to pop over a small jump. I’ve also had a bra fitting and visited Mum. (No comment. We have Issues. Or maybe I do.)

Went back to hospital and found out my cancer was just 15mm diameter and they got nice clear margins. It’s hormone receptive (hence the tamoxifen) and HER2 negative. No cancer cells were found in the surrounding lymph or blood vessels or the 19 sampled lymph nodes. It was Grade 3 (energetically invasive) though. An appointment is being booked with the oncologist for next Wednesday so maybe then I’ll know more about treatment. Chemo was mentioned as a possibility as I’m still young, apparently and I’m almost definitely in line for radiotherapy. Fucking annoying, when I currently feel well but I’ll do what it takes to takes to try to ensure my long-term health as best I can.

A few reflections
The oedema has gone down a bit so the teas seem to be helping. Also, all this healthy eating is paying off as I have lost 9lbs since Christmas! Worst of the burning seems to have gone from my arm – think the homeopathic remedy I was given at my last homeopath visit helped – but the numb bit itches from time to time. New bras are brilliant, if practically impossible to get into. They seem to perform magic tricks and make my boobs look more even.

‘We’ve only been doing this for six months.’
‘Well. You’ve got the edge on me then. I‘ve scarcely been at it a month!’
Asked about a prosthesis last week and had appointment at hosp. Got there to very grumpy nurse who said you only get a to leave hospital with a ‘comfy’ (soft fake boob) if it’s a full mastectomy; for WLE, you normally wait 4-6 weeks.

Her explanation of the duff info was that they have ‘only’ been doing WLE at the hospital for around 6 months. Had to bite my tongue not to point out that she therefore had far more experience of this than me…Anyway, that little thought really made me shudder. I’m so grateful to still have some shape both sides. All this would have been so much more traumatic had I been really maimed*. WLE has been around for ages and I’m shocked to think how many women must be going about their business having had possibly unnecessary full mastectomies. I am so glad I pulled a face at that first appointment!

(*Hmmm…may have survived the ‘slash’ bit pretty well…still got the chance of being pretty well maimed when we get to the rads.)