Hospital

Out of hospital
It feels like a lifetime since my last post.

The day before the op, I took the day off to go riding and to clean my house...also had to get a filling as I broke a tooth the day before and a visit to the hospital to see the consultant again.

What the Consultant said
This set me mind at rest quite a lot. He showed me some pictures of a lady who'd had a wide local excision (the modern name for 'lumpectomy' which sums it up better than the old term). Obviously, they were not pretty pictures, being taken just 2 weeks after surgery. However, it cheered my up as I could see how I would be able to work with what was left to look pretty normal, at least when dresses.

He also mentioned the possibility of reconstruction, which was cheering as it was the first time that had come up, despite direct questions. To be honest, I don't fancy having the good boob 'taken in' to match but I don't much relish the idea of a silicon thing under my skin either. We'll see...

Last day
Busy, but I managed to have a ride and left everything as it should be. I managed to get whacked in the face out riding as I was sending a text and forgot to duck under a branch. Silly.It was also really nice that hubby and I got around to making love. Unprotected as it happens, which is just stupid, but I'll worry about that when I need to.

Hospital. Day 1.
Had to be there at 7.45 a.m. Felt very lonely waiting to be shown to my room, and even lonelier once I was in there. Put on a gown, got marked up for surgery, had a long talk with the anaesthetist and expressed all my worries about the anaesthetic to him.

The worries were born of the problems I have with local anaesthetics - I feel really spaced out and often very weepy and have to hide away and sleep off the after-effects. Oh, and they seem to wander. The anaesthetic for my breast biopsy numbed my face but the breast still ****ing hurt!

I walked to the operating theatre and got on the bed. Before I really got to grips with what was happening, I noticed that the room was going round unpleasantly, like it does when you've had waaay too many beers...and then I woke up in the recovery room. Sleepy, thirsty, bit sore...not too bad actually. Certainly not as bad as anticipated or as bad as a 'bad' local makes me feel.

Back to the ward, and learned the hard way that morphine does not agree with me. Hubby came to visit and the poor love had to listen to me throwing up...at least it wasn't beer! Not long after I stopped pressing the analgesia button, the sickness started to go away and glasses of water stayed in. By 9 pm, I was ready for a sandwich. One very last press of the morphine and off to sleep. Hmmm...not much luck there, as there were patients calling nurses every 5 minutes all night. I can only pity the nurses.

Hospital Day 2
What is with these people?! 6.30 a.m. on a Saturday, they want your blood pressure!

Much perkier. Had the hand thing out after having to beg and got dressed and wandered off to the hospital entrance. I must have looked like a really classy bird, with my 2 drains tucked into a Matalan carrier bag, fastened to my belt. Still, it was a btter look than the more usual dressing gown and tussled hair. I just could not bring myself to wander about in public like that!

I was a bit worried about what would happen if there was a fire, though, as there was no system of signing out or anyhting.

Really hungry so investigated what food I could buy...nothing healthy. I was quite deeply shocked! The hospital catering is awful and you can't even buy something decent to bump up the nutrient levels. Shocking.

Hubby brought daughters to visit, which was nice. Think we spent longer talking together than we do at home ordinarily!

In the evening, my mate visited. What a wonderful woman! She brought fruit, juice, chick lit, chocolate and shower gel and we had a good gossip, and a good giggle. She even did a bit of trigger point work on my bad back, which I'd put down to the hospital bed but my have been due to limbo-ing under a tree branch out riding!

Hospital Day 3
Sunday. Still pretty comfortable and no painkillers needed.

Soooooo boring. I was told I could go for a home visit and had to wait to be let out until 2. The afternoon whizzed by, just sitting on the sofa, chilling, and all too soon I had to be back. Still, at least I had a decent meal at home!

Leaving Hospital
Monday. Worst day so far. I was told at 10.30 that I could go as soon as I’d had the first drain out, been given some painkillers and a discharge letter. Er … helloo … quite how many painkillers have I used?

Had to wait for hubby to finish on the golf course and in the meantime I felt so sad, alone, quite bereft. I also got really angry as the whole concept of patient dignity seemed to fly out of the window! I was in a side room with ensuite and nurses kept on coming in, wanting to do things, without closing the door. One even invaded the bathroom for a long and very unhelpful chat about a friend of hers who’s undergoing chemo. I was naked, having a wash at the time!!! And I had to yell for someone to shut the door as I’d left my clothes on the bed and my towel didn’t cover a lot.

Eventually, hubby came. We got quite arsey about the discharge letter. I mean 4 hours to fill in a little form?!Home at last! It felt great.